Loved the dialogue between the kids and Lauren's mom. What a sweet thing, to disapprove of the pot smoking but still offer bagel bites haha
And when you're in Lauren's bedroom and the dialogue is not in quotes, so feels still like an internal monologue, then it is in quotes but still in paragraph form, until flash forward, you're calling Lauren as an adult and it's now proper dialogue format—had a bit of a dolly zoom effect in my mind's eye.
Loved the dialogue between the kids and Lauren's mom. What a sweet thing, to disapprove of the pot smoking but still offer bagel bites haha
And when you're in Lauren's bedroom and the dialogue is not in quotes, so feels still like an internal monologue, then it is in quotes but still in paragraph form, until flash forward, you're calling Lauren as an adult and it's now proper dialogue format—had a bit of a dolly zoom effect in my mind's eye.
Thank you for this amazing feedback! ❤️